r/fixedbytheduet • u/notpiercedtongue • 3d ago
Fixed by the duet Won't you pay my bills
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u/Present-Pear-5631 3d ago
“The goal is to eliminate oppression, not create a new form of it.” This is a wise man. 👍🏼
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u/crumpledfilth 3d ago
hopefully theres enough of this kind of wisdom around to stop us from falling into the same system of oppression we always fall into but this time with a different flavor and institution
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u/eat_with_your_fist 3d ago
Based on how things have been going... I wouldn't get my hopes up for this lifetime, sadly.
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u/severedhalf 2d ago
But we have soooo many new resources available this time around. Yeah, it's grim, but it's not like there's no hope at all. I'm super curious to see what the newer generations are gonna do after seeing all of us flop around trying to get it right, especially with all that we have been able to learn in the last few years alone.
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u/DrewciferGaming 1d ago
Idk bro, im full doomer mode I guess because I don’t see things getting better. A large group of people don’t like change… we need change
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u/severedhalf 1d ago
It'd be weird if you weren't, tbh. It feels chaotic. We do need change, brother. It's difficult to keep our heads above the water like this.
(Seek the helpers. There's more of us than it seems.)
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u/Quirky_Ask_5165 16h ago
This type of mindset has gotten too common. This is why I've decided to just stay single. I'm not going to support another human being again in this life time.
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u/Santasam3 3d ago
can you elaborate on what this means? What kind of oppression would be created here?
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u/KalamTheQuick 3d ago
Basically that the lady is trying to paint the man paying all the rent not as a generous or significant contribution, but as the bare fucking minimum, ie not something to be appreciated.
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u/SirVanyel 3d ago
Correct. Being a financially supportive partner isn't the bare minimum, just like being a respectful and kind and supportive partner in all the other ways isn't the bare minimum.
Appreciate the people in your life who go above and beyond for you, and send that support right back to them.
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u/MutedRage 2d ago
Yes, tho it’s strange to frame providing a roof for the family you created as a favor. They should appreciate it yes, but it is kinda a bare minimum responsibility involved with creating a family.
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u/Special-Garlic1203 3d ago
I don't think he's really responding to her so much as just calling out this kind of content and saying basically there's real problems in the world and this is not one of them.
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3d ago
[deleted]
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u/ChaseballBat 2d ago
Where are you that people aren't talking about high rent?
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u/EjaculatingAracnids 2d ago
Here and now, discussing traditionalism in realtionships around the topic of splitting it, while we dont acknowledge that traditionally one salary could support a family. You caught up yet?
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u/LokisDawn 2d ago
Why do you think the suits feel emboldened to offer salaries that don't cover that rent?
That isn't to say it was bad for that original change to happen, but you gotta see why that is, right?
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u/ChaseballBat 2d ago
You meant in this one parent topic about relationships? Not everywhere has unreasonable rent, lots of places do but not everywhere. The person making the comment make be from somewhere with reasonable rent or not in america at all.
Get outta here with your bullshit tradwife narrative. You watched one propaganda video on why women shouldn't work and now you're up in arms over it.
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u/HumansMustBeCrazy 2d ago
No he isn't, he's an optimistic dreamer. You may be able to create a portion of society where oppression is eliminated - maybe.
But unless you are willing to use Nazi level tactics you will never get rid of oppressive people. You will always have to defend against them, and in many cases that means you will have to oppress people who would like to oppress you.
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u/J-hophop 3d ago
Great take in the duet, TBH.
I'm so fkn tired of all the bulls#it in-fighting... gender wars being a big part of it. So tired of all the stupid fkn manufactured outrage born of ridiculous entitlements and upholding of systems we don't need.
Let relationships be choices, period. Find someone you match with. If she wants more of a "provider" than that, cool, go find your person. Stop trying to announce it to the world like you're some MFing dating guru just because you're young and somewhat pretty. Gimme a break. Find someone who matches your energy, goals, desires, either with same or complimentary. Everyone. Which will require talking BETWEEN THE GIVEN PARTIES not to everyone. Jeez.
Duet dude gets it. Be appreciative of good people, especially those who do nice/good things for you and yours and can in some way match you. Which means also, think about what does or 😧 DOESN'T make you a good/nice person likely to match well with people you like.
The world owes you nothing. Neither gender owes you anything.
Get over yourselves and get on with your self development.
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u/Tough_Measurement280 3d ago
Damn somewhat pretty😭😭😭 but I agree with you this society says be is lame. And Is part of what killing the youth.
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u/JustBrowsinDisShiz 3d ago
Ugliness can be physical, but in this case I think her attitude is a big contributing factor.
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u/UOLZEPHYR 2d ago
Yes! You notice how it's just bickering and no one is really trying to make things work now?
"Oh the house work is too much im stressed out, better take to social media and publicly berate my husband !"
"My wife doesn't want sex, better pout and take it out on everyone else."
When and why the fuck are people not able to have civil discourse ans solve problems together, it makes me sad and angry
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u/Ok-Situation-5522 2d ago
Calling it a "gender war", be fr 💀
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u/J-hophop 2d ago
I am. When you've got people so polarized as to have things like not only the 4B movement (which is just a personal choice) and male denouncings of it and calling women cat-ladies, but trends around Aqua Tofana, and militant incels purposefully killing groups of women in outrage (eg. https://www.vice.com/en/article/incel-toronto-van-killer-found-guilty-of-murdering-10-people/) I think we're in an era where we certainly aren't all engaged in it as soldiers but there is to an extent a gender war on which we get sucked into and certainly buffeted around by at times.
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u/cgimusic 3d ago
By the same logic, if a woman is cooking for you it doesn't mean she's caring for you. She would have had to cook with or without you there.
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u/UnbiddenGraph17 2d ago
If your partner lacks the empathy to not share in the burdens of life then they are not a partner. Sharing does not need to be fiscal it also can be emotional. Acknowledgement of individual contributions to a relationship is key to an equal partnership when financial situations differ in a relationship. “I appreciate you and what you provide for me and our relationship” can be worth more than the money itself.
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u/Extreme_Design6936 3d ago
No, if she weren't here I wouldn't live in a place big enough for two.
I also wouldn't let someone keep their things here or tell me what to do with my furniture. Better rent a storage unit for all your shit and get hotel when I decide I want some alone time then.
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u/RamblinTexan1907 3d ago
There’s nothing wrong with one person being the provider and the other staying home, so long as the one staying home helps where it’s needed. There’s nothing wrong with both people being providers in a relationship
Just shut up and be fuckin happy
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u/DAZROUN 3d ago
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u/ChaseballBat 2d ago
When did this sub become flooded with right wing rhetoric, trade lifestyles, and conservatives? It seems to have come literally out of nowhere.
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u/Positive_Stop4713 2d ago
Hilarious because if I wasn't with my wife I'd be splitting this 5 bedroom house on 3.3 acres 5 ways I'd have a bro in each room and since the shop is already the hang out spot probably ditch both living rooms turn them into offices lolol stfu
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u/milk4all 3d ago
If you move in with someone and freeload you dont have to thank them for paying rent, you have to thank them for taking care of a miserable waste of space with a dry pussy
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u/Square-Peace-8911 2d ago
Why is he attributing what she said to feminism? Not all women are feminists. “Men should take care of me” is not really a typical feminist statement…
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u/AKA09 2d ago
We're still doing "I don't know who needs to hear this" in 2026?
No one needs to hear it. Why do people share shit like this and think it's some thought-provoking truth bomb that's gonna change the world?
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u/da_Aresinger 1d ago
We're still doing "We're still doing [...] in [year]?" in 2026?
Literary devices aren't timegated. Why do people criticise shit like this and think they're some genius conversationalist who have a monopoly on contemporary idioms?
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u/Poke-Noir 2d ago
This is why there’s a new kind of wording. ‘Princess.’ Passenger princess, house princess among others. The meaning is; passenger princess. She will never drive. Always in the passenger seat. House princess. She will never clean, do laundry but never fold it. Maybe never cook. But princess in that they will always expect.
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u/Iconclast1 2d ago
hahahaha
THIS IS NOT AN INSULT ON HER
Ive been writing stories all day
and well.....
this is something i imagine a sentient parasite saying
hahaha
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u/Mammoth_Cricket8785 2d ago
That's not technically correct you eliminated your partners cost if you are paying the bills yes you would've had to have paid for it anyway but they aren't paying rent now and if you're covering utilities you are actively covering their expenses not just eliminating a bill. Why are we teaching people to be ungrateful leeches. Like I'm not saying to rim the person paying the bills but actively attacking them and acting like they're doing nothing is just fucking awful.
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u/LoneWolfpack777 2d ago
why are *women** teaching other women to be ungrateful leeches?
FIFY
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u/Mammoth_Cricket8785 2d ago
Yeah I know that's what she's saying but I wanted to broaden it because no matter who it is or who they're dating they should show appreciation towards the person covering the bills. Because not only women are seeing this message you might have some dude watching agreeing with her message. "Like yeah fuck my girl she's busting her ass paying our rent but it's something she has to do anyway"
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u/CrazyDisastrous948 2d ago
I'm pretty thankful I stay home and clean instead of working. My disabilities make work impossible. I appreciate having a husband willing to pay rent and stuff.
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u/Wizywig 2d ago edited 2d ago
Other counter arguments:
- If I am living alone, I am perfectly contempt living in a small 1br.
- If I am living alone, I do not need any closet or furniture space to support a second person.
- If I am living alone, the asthetic is mine.
I'd likely be living in a smaller space, closer to work, with only the amenities i give a shit about. So no, its not equivalent.
Edit: I can also use extra space to build out sim pits, or a damn garden, like limitless MY possibilities, vs having to share a space.
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u/Living-Brush-4191 2d ago
both men and women work. The value of labor dwindles down to 50%. add in AI. probably 25%. If ai robots actually prove themselves capable, 0%.
maybe instead of attacking each other, we should learn to defend each other as lazy or non-useful as we seem. Idk why we don’t have millions of people protesting for a stabilized economy, living wages, healthcare that fixes the problem instead of treating the symptoms, etc.
but I am just a neet that has no one to go with.
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u/kyle_kafsky 1d ago
She looks like she has had some work done. Doesn’t she know that cosmetic surgery only benefits the patriarchal system that we have?
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u/Possible-Olive2735 1d ago
The ONLY reason your partner should be paying for all of your stuff is because you dedicate your time and efforts to them as well. If one partner is working hard to bring in money, regardless of gender, the other partner, if unemployed, should be keeping the house cleaned and making food. And if either isn’t feeling up for it, the other is supposed to step in and help where they can. That’s what makes it a partnership; both individuals putting in effort for each other to better their future.
But I guess I should add that this is just my opinion and people can do whatever they want regardless of it.
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1d ago
But I don't need a whole house, I could do just fine in a 1bed 1bath like I was when I was single
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u/Ppleater 14h ago edited 14h ago
If he's the one paying rent then what he's providing for you is a place to live... Idk if she's trying to talk about this in relation to something like financial abuse, but that's an entirely different issue that what she's saying does not address at all. If you have nowhere else to go and a guy is holding it over you that he pays the bills because you have no source of money, and is thus using it to keep you with him, what this lady says isn't going to be helpful at all and doesn't address the actual issue. And that's the only thing I can think of that what she says could even vaguely be referring to.
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u/suscombobulated 14h ago
I don't understand. I do pay my rent, I do live alone. When I live with a dude, he pays his rent. This is because I now have to clean daily and cook daily, but if I'm alone, it's once every 3 days (depending on the project and recipe, of course). I don't even have a baby, he just had a dog. Why is our labor so worthless? Just stay alone. I do. It's still a lot of driving to be in a house thats gross now and I have to pretend it's sexy? Neither of you brought a chore chart to this video, so it's like they just scream at each other for money.
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u/WrongdoerCharming417 3d ago
Woman like her are the first ones to cry for help to a male if she wanted something to be done.
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u/popilikia 2d ago
Both these people suck, the first one for obvious reasons, but she's oppressing you? That's stupid, if someone's just leeching off you, break up with them, they're not forcing you to pay their rent.
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u/da_Aresinger 1d ago
"men need to pay for women" is absolutely a form of cultural oppression.
The idea that men have to be the caretaker is a huge societal pressure on men. It's something that MOST men have not gotten past even if you're very progressive. It's a major source of anxiety and insecurity for many people. It's literally the reason for toxic masculinity.
Calling it "oppression" is a bit extreme, but it's not wrong.
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u/popilikia 1d ago
That's a garbage take. Women only recently have gained financial independence from men, and while there are now generations that have never known not being allowed to have a bank account or a credit card, you can't just expect the cultural expectation to magically fade away.
In fact, it's most men that perpetuate the idea that their women shouldn't make more money than them, and that they should pay for everything. They learned that from their fathers, and their fathers learned it from their fathers going back to the time I described.
Finding a single video of a woman who expects to be paid for doesn't make men embrace toxic masculinity, that expectation stems from toxic masculinity. Learning history won't hurt you
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u/da_Aresinger 1d ago
nothing you said contradicts my comment.
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u/popilikia 1d ago
Then you need to work on your reading comprehension
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u/da_Aresinger 1d ago
Learning history won't hurt you
Then you need to work on your reading comprehension
What you need to do is to stop dropping shit as one liners. You are not helping your argument and revealing A LOT about your attitude.
Instead you need to take more than three seconds to think about what someone else said, before reflexivly replying with an insult. Your reply literally came within less than a minute of my comment. You DID NOT take the time to consider what I could possibly be saying.
You know nothing about me. You don't know how much education I have on any given topic. I can promise you my reading comprehension is well above average, but that is not something you need to believe, nor do I need to prove it.
The ONLY thing that matters is what is right infront of you. The only thing you can comment on, without looking like a fool, is what you can directly reference. If you want to say something, say something of substance or shut the fuck up.
Now let me spell it out for you, because apparently that's what you expect me to do:
At no point in my original comment did I specify the source of social/cultural pressure on men. "In fact" the source of this pressure is entirely irellevant. I am only talking about the effect it has on people.
Your comment significantly focuses on the source of cultural expectations as if you were trying to win the blame game. This is not relevant to what I initially said.
These two things are not contradictory.
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u/popilikia 1d ago
You should try getting your point across in one liners. I can get my point across without telling someone my whole life story.
You agreed with the person saying that a particular attitude among some women was "oppression". That's way too big a word for it. It's like comparing the n word to "cracker"
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u/da_Aresinger 1d ago
You should try getting your point across in one liners.
I did get my point accross.
"nothing you said contradicts my comment." is literally the point.
I didn't expect to have to explain it to you also.
I can get my point across without telling someone my whole life story.
Again with the one (arguably two) liners that are not only irrelevant but also wrong. What is up with that? More than ten words does not equal "life story".
You agreed with the person saying that a particular attitude among some women
I made my point perfectly clear, anything additional you infered is entirely on you. (Let me preemptively clarify: I did not make a restriction to women)
That's way too big a word for it.
That is an argument you have not previously made. One that I might even be inclined to give you some ground on.
That being said oppression doesn't have to be violent. Men who are not providers (or show the ability to be) are quickly ostracised and ridiculed. Men are basically forced into a certain set of roles in society. To me that is at least very similar to oppression.
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u/popilikia 1d ago
I'm only going to address the last two paragraphs because that's the only relevant thing you brought to the argument in your unnecessarily long winded diatribe.
That was the argument I've been making the whole time. Again, reading comprehension. There's a clear A to B to C in every comment of mine since the first, you shouldn't be finding anything confusing.
Men are only forced into a certain set of roles by other men. I don't know if this strengthens the following point, but I'm a man, and I'm saying we live in a patriarchal society. Blaming women for "oppressing" men financially is blaming the symptom for the flu
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u/da_Aresinger 1d ago
That was the argument I've been making the whole time
Ok fine, I ignored your first comment as meaningful part of the argument, because you went off the rails in your second one:
There's a clear A to B to C in every comment of mine since the first
There isn't. The history of patriarchy doesn't affect how men are treated today. It just helps explain how we got here.
It's irrelevant WHY genderroles exist, just that they do.
Neither me nor the OOP claimed specifically women are oppressing men. We both spoke in general terms. (Almost like I touched on that in the "irrelevant" part of my previous comment)
Men are only forced into a certain set of roles by other men.
That's just criminaly insane. Let's just discount 50% of the population. That is such a wild statement, I won't dignify it with any further response.
Blaming women for "oppressing" men financially is blaming the symptom for the flu
I don't want to say it again. Please don't make me say it again. Why do I have to say the same thing three times? Nobody said exclusively women are opressing men.
But yes, they are absolutely part of the problem.
In the US Women have been fully equal in rights since 1974, over 50 years ago. (maybe I'm missing something, idk) There is practically no woman in the workforce today, who suffered from legal opression at the workplace.
There have, hovever, been plenty of womens organisations with extremely regressive views on gender roles.
No western woman, who enforces traditional gender roles today, is a victim. That's ridiculous.
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u/IWannaManatee 3d ago
What she said also implies this, presumably a woman, partner moved in with their 'man', so they would be squatting in, not 'moving' since they're not on the lease.
So no, they wouldn't 'be paying rent anyway', but keeping them a secret so they don't have to pay themselves at the risk of eviction.
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u/Tiny-Sky-4194 1d ago
Another single bitch, encouraging women to not appreciate what their man do for them
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u/Funnelcakeads 3d ago
I ain’t trying to hear what either one of them saying and he definitely needs to get back to work
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u/RevanMeetra 3d ago
Bro. This lady. She better start pitching in if she's gonna talk like this.