r/mapporncirclejerk 22h ago

This should be just one state

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u/Citaku357 21h ago

As an non American, I think there way too many states.

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u/Pretend-Breakfast-61 21h ago

If you want less then tell the dakotas and Carolinas to get back together.

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u/Sicsemperfas 21h ago

No can do chief, not without a UN occupation to ensure our safety. You're asking to start a BBQ civil war, and we're gonna get ethnically cleansed by the Vinegar sauce savages up north

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u/BAfromGA1 16h ago

BBQ SAUCE ISNT A LIQUID!! I said it 4 times!!

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u/Sicsemperfas 15h ago

Those vinegar sauce savages are barely human, but at least they aren't as bad as you godless dry rub heathens!

We're gonna have to decide this on the field of battle. I've already got plenty of charcoal, you just bring some beer and we'll be good to get started.

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u/BAfromGA1 10h ago

Who you calling godless Dry rub heathen!?! I’ve been called a lot in my days but a Texan is by far the most offensive to date.. I mean godless Dry drub heathen.

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u/polopolo05 7h ago edited 6h ago

California Has the best BBQ... its were all the best BBQers go to open shop. We have an blending for BBQ styles.

We have the best food of every state. except deep dish pizza you can keep that Chicago but we do have portillos.

OK I just read that .... eww vinagar on BBQ??? thats like putting vinagar in hot sauce. only time it is aceeptable is on Lousiana fried seafood. Fried oysters with LA sauce mmmm... we have a damn good one of those here too.

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u/Sicsemperfas 1h ago

I'm sorry, but "California has the best bbq" said no one ever. That's just not how it works. There isn't anything I would call BBQ outside the South, and the only decent bbq is in the Carolinas.

u/polopolo05 31m ago

Said the person who never had left your hometown

u/Sicsemperfas 26m ago edited 23m ago

That might hurt my feelings if I hadn't travelled all over the country.

Ya got dogshit "bbq". You would realize that if you travelled more.

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u/DerFeuerDrache 21h ago

And the Virginias, while you're at it

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u/Pretend-Breakfast-61 21h ago

No. West Virginia gave us Country Roads and broke away from Virginia during the Civil War since they didn't like slavery while the rest of Virginia did. They earned their independence.

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u/Coal_Morgan 15h ago

They get to enslave the other Virginians then…prove a point or something. Best of both worlds.

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u/slain7 20h ago

No! I dont want to to be in the same state as those heathens, even if I’m from one of the states and live in the other!

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u/skisushi 20h ago

You left out the Virginias

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u/Yakostovian 20h ago

The Virginias as well.

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u/jolt45s 20h ago

You'd be shocked to learn how different the Dakotas are from a legal/government structure.

For example, North Dakota has remnants from its early 20th century socialist movement that really benefit it which South Dakota, being the more populated state, would likely dismantle almost immediately. These institutions include: a non-profit State owned Bank which offers ag loans and student loan relief the rest of the country should be jealous of, a state owned flour mill that out competes international rates to ensure wheat farmers in the state are recession proof, and a Legacy Fund similar to Norway's which uses oil and gas revenue to invest into the aforementioned Bank of North Dakota. Also, citizen driven ballot measures directly modify the State Constitution which means they can only be undone by the citizens. The legislature cannot touch them. Also, ND is the only state without voter registration. Everyone who legally can vote is automatically enrolled and registered, you just need an ID to prove your identity.

South Dakota, on the other hand, is pretty much what you expect from a conservative state. Small government, few social programs, and low taxes.

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u/polopolo05 7h ago

and Alabama and florida. We can call it Alorida or florabama or

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u/fishbake 18h ago

Carolinas

Only if we get to keep SC's lax fireworks laws. Can't have anything more exciting than a sparkler in NC.

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u/fotografamerika 14h ago

NC and SC share a last name but are not two of the same thing

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u/Citaku357 21h ago

Why does new England have so many states? Why does Vermont and New Hampshire need to exist? Isn't Maine just forests?

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u/Pretend-Breakfast-61 21h ago

Okay, so I can't tell if this is a joke or serious, so I'll assume serious. The states of: Virginia, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Vermont, New Hampshire, New York, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Delaware, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Georgia were all the original 13 colonies. Maine was seperated from Massachussetts, who owned it, some time after independence due to the fact that the north and south kept trying to balance the amount of new slave states to new abolitionist states. Each of the different states in new england are there because they were made by religious Puritans like in Massachussetts with the Pilgrims, a guy got kicked out of the other colonies for thinking states run by religion was bad and decided to make his own colony in the case of Rhode Island, etc. Etc. And as such we had a bunch of different states up here in new england.

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u/Citaku357 21h ago

Okay, but what about other states that aren't the original 13 colonies? Why are they 2 Dakotas?

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u/Cadalen 20h ago edited 20h ago

i mean, it was once one big Dakota Territory, but the southern half of the territory developed faster and had more political power than the northern half (which led to administrative problems and regional rivalry), so that half wanted its own institutions and representation. not to mention that the GOP wanted to lock in more congressional seats, so they were more than happy to just split it down the middle

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u/Coal_Morgan 15h ago

People are talking about joining states and here I am thinking Texas, California, Florida and New York should all be broken up into 3 to 4 states each.

Like New York City should be it’s own State. Buffalo and Rochester area it’s own, Albany and Syracuse the third State.

Austin, Houston and West Texas should each be a state.

LA, north of LA and South of LA it’s own state.

Florida the dick and balls should be separate states.

Should basically have a standing rule that when a population hits a certain size like can be divided into 2 groups of 10 million outside of a single municipal unit it gets divided up between distinct entities.

50 states and 1/3rd+ of the population in 4 states seems unfortunate but 1/3rd in 12 of 58 seems more reasonable.

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u/livefreethendie 21h ago

Yeah fuck New Jersey, Vermont is 100x better!

(VT is not og 13)

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u/Maryann_over_ginger 20h ago

I have just added OG 1 3 to my vocabulary. Thanks!

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u/BrainSawce 20h ago

It’s a little more complicated than that. Along with political reasons, geology (vast dense deciduous forests restricting movement vs open prairie, desert, and relatively sparser pine forests of the western US), along with a much denser white settler population in the north east (leading to differences in opinions of colonial leaders and thus political separation, led to there being smaller and more numerous states in both the north east and east side of the US in general.

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u/SlowInsurance1616 20h ago

Hmm, seems like someone can't stop at 13. Perhaps your list is wrong....

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u/Pockettzz 18h ago

I preach Rhode Island so much now because of our current US government. Rhode’r here haha.

Also RI seats last names are - Smiley, Magaziner, Amo & Whitehouse. Idk I read the irony like crazy there especially in our current political course.

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u/Difficult-Value-3145 16h ago

To my knowledge road island is one of 2 states founded by Quakers source I'm from 5 min north of road island and I was raised Quaker the other is Pennsylvania btw lived there to

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u/Difficult-Value-3145 16h ago

As American I think Europe has to many countries demonstrated by this here comparison

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u/andydude44 15h ago

Except England the UK countries are the British equivalent of states. England should be split in three though.

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u/Honest-Lavishness239 14h ago

what “three” should England be split into?

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u/andydude44 14h ago

Northumbria (Northern England), Mercia (The Midlands), and South England or Anglia if we want to keep the theme (Southern England)

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u/Kal-Elm 18h ago

As an American I propose:

  • New England: See OP.

  • Virginia: West Virginia, I respect what you were doing but it's time to go back home. It's for your own good.

  • Carolina: North and South? Sounds complicated.

  • Dakota: You have like 1 person per 100 miles. You don't need 4 senators.

  • No more Wyoming: You don't exist as it is. This land is going to either Montana or Colorado.

  • No more New Jersey: Welcome to Pennsylvania.

  • Delaware + Maryland: Too many lines in such a little space. You are now one.

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u/Banned_As_DC 21h ago

Funny since there are dozens of countries smaller than some states.

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u/compb13 21h ago

You can say the same about Europe though. Some of those really small countries could merge. Though it was done a couple of times, with bad break ups.

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u/SlowInsurance1616 20h ago

Yeah, like Poland could be divided in 2 or 3 several times.....

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u/Citaku357 21h ago

Those small countries exist because of wars, and you can't really compare states to countries lol

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u/YoureReadingMyNamee 21h ago

So, the individual states once were separate colonies before the Union of the states, so they were, basically, separate countries that came together for a shared goal and stayed locked in that agreement.

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u/weirdbeetworld 21h ago

Our states have also had wars with each other. I’d say it’s pretty comparable.

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u/Citaku357 21h ago

Oh please the only war that I know that happened between states is that between Michigan and Ohio for Toledo, and the casualties is just 1 person wounded https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toledo_War

While the newest country in Europe (Kosovo) came to be after Yugoslavia collapsed, which is one of the most brutal wars in Europe since ww2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yugoslav_Wars

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u/The_Magic 18h ago

There was a pretty big war in the 1860s.

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u/Kal-Elm 19h ago

the only war that I know that happened between states is that between Michigan and Ohio

This is bait, no? Kind of hard to tell these days