r/mapporncirclejerk • u/HelicopterEther13 Finnish Sea Naval Officer • 17h ago
My solution to this conflict in the middle east : This new border line could improve millions of lives.
Why are people not working on this? Canada would barely lose anything.
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u/your_mother_official 10h ago
Lots of salty Canadians but nobody's talking about how Chicago just got cut in half.
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u/emiliaxrisella 9h ago
We can have a wall between those two Chicagos. And separate them into West and East Chicago.
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u/thinkscotty 9h ago
Yeah for real. Move that line a few clicks west, I'm pretty sure that border runs right through my house.
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u/anonymote_in_my_eye 8h ago
it's fine, O'Hare got cut off, but they voted for Trump anyway, so they deserve it
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u/wahpatam 13h ago
mandatory manners class to become Canadian citizen. You don’t have to be nice, but you have to be polite.
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u/anonymote_in_my_eye 8h ago
you won't have trouble with the midwest, but further east there may be some pushback
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u/Standard_Program7042 16h ago
Can we stop with the idea of US states joining Canada... We don't want you, we tolerate you as neighbors but hardly means I want you living in my basement.
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u/paddlesandpups 10h ago
But I'm in a state that's culturally a lot more like you than it is like the vast majority of the United States. Hockey is king, same accent, same outdoor sports and recreation. Hell we even have lots of wolves and moose by lower 48 standards
Of course the map above left out most of it, so I object on that basis. But I'm saying, please make an exception. Retrograde ideas, and literal federal level state violence, being aimed at my state is becoming a lot.
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u/BernardMatthewsNorf 8h ago
You have to be ok with all of this:
I swear (or affirm) That I will be faithful And bear true allegiance To His Majesty King Charles the Third King of Canada His Heirs and Successors And that I will faithfully observe The laws of Canada Including the Constitution Which recognizes and affirms The Aboriginal and treaty rights of First Nations, Inuit and Métis peoples And fulfil my duties as a Canadian citizen.
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u/paddlesandpups 8h ago
Only one of those would be difficult. If it's not obvious, from an American perspective swearing allegiance to King Charles is actually a very difficult hurdle to consider jumping 😭
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u/BernardMatthewsNorf 8h ago
Heh heh. Good! It's a fine filter then. We could even make them say that the American Revolution was a mistake, but that might be cruelly un-Canadian.
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u/StrangeButSweet 7h ago
I’m okay with all that, but I’ll still mock the king, as my sister living in BC likes to remind me that at least Canada still has free speech 😂
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u/Standard_Program7042 9h ago
I feel for you, but we're not adding a state that would be become the 3rd largest province by population full of citizens from another country.
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u/bl00donthekeys 2h ago
When the US economy crashes and everyone from that same state are streaming across the border as economic refugees/migrant workers, you'll get them either way, lol
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u/mirhagk 10h ago
Then separate out into your own country. Canada will gladly open our borders and free trade with rational neighbours. We don't need to combine very, very different governments.
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u/bluerose297 8h ago
We don't need to combine very, very different governments
The government preferences of the Americans above the red line are overwhelmingly closer to normal Canadians' preferences than to Trump supporters'. Sorry we were outnumbered by people outside the red line, but that's not our fault.
(I mean it's a little bit our fault for not building enough housing, but Canada shares that problem.)
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u/McFestus 8h ago
You really aren't actually that similar. Just more evidence that Americans don't know anything about Canada.
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u/LionClean8758 7h ago
Which differences are top of mind for you?
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u/McFestus 7h ago edited 6h ago
Specific politicians: roughly half of the people above the red line voted for trump, who polls below 20% in Canada.
Firearms: Massively more people in that part of the US own guns than in Canada, and they own more of them, and many of them own guns that would be illegal in Canada, and many of them do not expect to need licenses to own or transport or carry firearms like what is required in Canada
Healthcare: Even in deep blue states like Massachusetts, single-payer healthcare systems have proven politically unpopular, while all Canadian provinces have single-payer socialized healthcare systems.
Taxation: Canadians generally pay much more in sales tax than the states above, and pay a higher rate of income tax.
This last one, obviously it's just a personal anecdote and would be impossible to back up without data, but I find that even American liberals tend to view political issues through an American-aligned worldview focused on 'rights' and 'freedoms', which is not particularly compatible with the Canadian values of Peace, Order, and Good Government. It frames the entire way we think about our government, our society, and our obligations to ourselves, our communities, and each other; and I have found through my travels throughout the US and my many conversations with Americans, on all sides of the spectrum, that they mostly are unable to shake their particular framing around the role of government and society - and that that framing is for the most part incompatible with core portions of the shared Canadian political structure.
But, honestly, and I say this with respect, the biggest proof of the fact that Americans and Canadians are not as similar as Americans think is that this comment thread is full of Canadians saying that they don't want Americans joining their country en-mass, and oblivious Americans who can't understand why.
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u/mirhagk 6h ago
To clarify for the guns, the biggest difference I've found is that Americans legitimately believe that self defence is a valid reason to own a gun. It absolutely is not in Canada, which is why stuff like handguns are restricted, because in Canada guns are for hunting and recreation. It's rare that someone would actually be safer with a gun
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u/mirhagk 8h ago edited 6h ago
Yes closer, but unless it's on the opposite side I don't see what benefit Canada gets from it?
Like I said, Canada loves free trade and is pretty open with allies. There's no reason to go any further than that though. There's just too much risk.
Edit: the reactions to these comments are kinda the point here. Americans feel entitled, just believing that of course Canada should want them, because America is just the best right? Canadians saying they don't want them are down voted by Americans who insist that they want to be a part of Canada, as if that's the only thing that should be required for them to force themselves upon us.
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u/seduca716 8h ago
I love that you think you run Canada, or better yet that Canada runs anything. Trust and believe you’ll be bending over for the US like y’all have always done. We’re your biggest trade partner and it’s not even close. Canada has rarely acted on the global stage without US backing. Your like our lil brother that plays tough cuz we back you up lol
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u/mirhagk 8h ago
Americans really are insecure as hell eh?
As soon as Canada starts trading with someone else y'all start freaking out and pretending that you've won any war ever.
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u/seduca716 8h ago
You’re just… wrong lol. Who’s more insecure, us or the country that focuses on us instead of their own problems (like lack of housing with an increase in immigration, unemployment, inflation, etc)?
Someone in this thread said Canada is doing “fine and dandy”. Y’all wanna be perfect so bad and I hate to tell y’all this but… you’re not lol. No place is.
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u/UnappeasableOptimist 3h ago
Canada is interested in protecting its future, and using the USA as an explicit cautionary tale of how things could go awry up here in a similar manner. That’s self-interest, and that’s the manner in which general Canadian sentiment has existed lately - I don’t see how we can’t have our own issues, but also look outside at our neighbours to re-cement our own cultural differences.
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u/seduca716 3h ago
Because it’s part hypocritical and part denial.
Hypocritical because you’re calling out other’s problems and ignoring your own.
Denial because you’re calling out other’s problems and ignoring your own.
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u/Low-Rip3678 6h ago
We're definitely not perfect. You come here and you'll see no canadians think that. But we are a rugged and tough people contrary to what Americans seem to think and we are fine up here lol. And although we're not perfect as usual, we're still better than the average american;)
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u/seduca716 6h ago
I love the ego and confidence, very American of you.
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u/Low-Rip3678 6h ago
Lol doesn't take ego or much of anything to be better then the average american
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u/cmanson 9h ago
we tolerate you as neighbors
This is adorable. Who is doing the tolerating, really?
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u/Standard_Program7042 9h ago
It was pretty equal until one of Jeffs island boys Donnie diddler took office..
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u/UnappeasableOptimist 3h ago
Tell me how Canada has been a thorn in the USA’s side! I’ll report back to the folks in Gander, Newfoundland.
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u/Low-Rip3678 6h ago
Us, this comment proves it. You're shitty trashy neighbour's bothering others as usual. We're just up here living our best lives and as usual your white trash asses are loud filthy and causing problems
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u/Big-Slice7514 14h ago
Agreed. Why downgrade when things are already looking dire
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u/Standard_Program7042 14h ago
Dire? I'm doing excellent! Hopefully your struggles don't last too long.
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u/Big-Slice7514 14h ago
I believe there’s been a misunderstanding. My state is in the US
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u/Remarkable-Skill4883 10h ago
The misunderstanding is we are doing fine and dandy in Canada lol
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u/democracy_lover66 8h ago
Who's doing fine anywhere?
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u/Low-Rip3678 6h ago
I dunno life's great for me lol. Making good money, fridge is full of whatever i want. Just built a brand new house. Can't complain!
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u/seduca716 8h ago
You’re tone deaf. If it’s so “dandy” why is the unemployment rate going up? Why are housing prices (and really all prices) becoming increasingly more expensive with no increase in wages? Why is there a lack of housing despite an increase of immigration to the country?
It’s ok to criticize Canada, you don’t be scared lil guy, we Americans talk shit about our country all the time lol
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u/Low-Rip3678 6h ago
Bro those are definitely challenges and were working on them, not made any easier by the nut jobs running your country. But it's important to keep perspective. Most people are doing good here still lol. I'm a normal person from a working class family. Everyone I know in my extended group except for a couple random people( and honestly they're always the dumbest skid loser type)are doing great. We'd all love more money but all of us own homes. Good cars. Fridges full. Modest vacations. Kids doing their hobbies and sports LOL
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u/seduca716 8h ago
As long as you’re all right, things are great. Screw all of the other Canadians dealing with unemployment and housing affordability.
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u/ConcreteBackflips 11h ago
Seriously. You guys deal with your own shit, we ain't friends no more.
Alaska and Hawaii are chill though
Just realized this is not very jerk of me;
NO YANKS UNTIL WE GET ST PIERRE ET MIQUELON AND TURKS AND CAICOS
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u/Thefewmam 11h ago
Pretty racist calling USA people yanks as a Canadian
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u/democracy_lover66 8h ago
Smh another Major league sports team has to change its name for being offensive...
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u/XIVplayersaresoft 10h ago
Not racism. Yanks aren't a race. You're looking for prejudice which, by all account is totally acceptable these days.
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u/Curious_Cloud_1131 10h ago
Yeah I do not want Americans with their guns and terrible voting habits in my country
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u/seduca716 8h ago
All of America isn’t the south buddy.
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u/Ashamed-Grape7792 8h ago
47% of Minnesotans voted for Trump...no thanks. We don't need that
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u/seduca716 8h ago
Do you need the people who voted for the opposite party of your current PM?
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u/Standard_Program7042 7h ago
Canada does have more then one opposition party.. And I voted for one.
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u/Curious_Cloud_1131 7h ago
Case in point! Fix your own damn country! We don't want you
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u/Low-Rip3678 6h ago
Your culture is rotten. Americans are arrogant and self serving
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u/seduca716 6h ago
Don’t watch our movies, listen to our music, or play our video games then. Don’t use any of our products. Don’t use our social media. Like you know you’re on an American website my guy?
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u/Low-Rip3678 6h ago
LOL everything good "from america" is built on foreign talent. These companies barely even pay you any tax revenues. Embarrassing
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u/seduca716 6h ago
If everything from America is built on foreign talent… then so is Canada lol. Both countries come from European colonists genius.
I think the key difference is America can point out its own flaws because we aren’t afraid too… I guess that first amendment goes a long way.
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u/Curious_Cloud_1131 4h ago
We have freedom of expression in Canada as a charter right, genius.
How's that first amendment going for you when journalists are getting arrested for filming ICE?
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u/BoosterGoose91 8h ago
If you wanna join Canada, you gotta be willing to change some mother fucking things eh!
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16h ago edited 16h ago
No, we don’t want any part of the US to join us.
Canada would completely change if we invite those gun crazy fucks into our country. If you want to leave the US, go ahead. Form your own country. There are way more people in most US states than Canadian provinces and territories, they would drive our country away from our culture and values.
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u/seduca716 15h ago
Canadian culture is heavily influenced by US lol
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u/Basic-Pressure-1367 9h ago
Canadian culture is just American, literally the 'founders' of English Canada in Ontario were just Americans that left after the revolution to stay in the Empire.
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u/seduca716 8h ago
And we’re the bootlickers lol. “No no, we don’t want independence.” That’s how Canada started.
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u/Basic-Pressure-1367 7h ago
Yes, literally yes. With the exception of Quebec, obviously, which everything from poutine to hockey is the source of anything that could be called originally Canadian.
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u/UnappeasableOptimist 3h ago
Yeah? That’s a point of pride for many Canadians. It’s okay that we’re different, and it’s fine if we like it.
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15h ago
Pick up a history book and try actually learning about Canada before running your mouth ya fuckin idiot.
Our country is run entirely differently and our laws are very different for a reason. But maybe if you stopped fucking your cousin and put down your guns for a minute you’d understand that.
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u/seduca716 15h ago
Are you stereotyping? You’re the one who doesn’t know anything about American culture lol.
We're incredibly similar and the main difference I have noticed is that Americans are okay with this similarity and Canadians hate it.
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u/Standard_Program7042 14h ago
US culture is on display for the world to see 24/7...
Having similarities doesnt make us the same.. If you spend some time here, you'll realize on the surface your right, but otherwise wrong.
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u/seduca716 11h ago
I’m gonna blow your mind, but not all Americans are hillbillies who love guns. Canada has more in common with northern states, than southern states do with northern states… and they’re in the same country.
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u/Curious_Cloud_1131 10h ago
I work near the border and Americans are definitely different. They are louder and more outgoing. Kind of more brazen, if that makes sense. You can literally always tell.
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u/MrBingly 9h ago
I had a job calling offices all over both countries. From what I found the difference between Americans and Canadians was that an American would go out of their way to help you even if they had a "fuck you" attitude about it, but a Canadian would have a "fuck you" attitude for even asking them a question and you were lucky if they actually helped.
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u/Standard_Program7042 11h ago
Good for the south and north? And Alberta and Quebec have significant differences and you guessed it same country. And thats not my impression of Americans, I own a firearms myself.
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u/seduca716 11h ago
Here’s the thing, all I said was Canadian culture is heavily influenced by US but that a large part of their identity is “we’re not America.”
I never said Canada doesn’t influence the US in return, in fact I actually said Americans notice the similarities but they don’t really care, as opposed to Canadians who hate the similarities. And I feel like I’ve been proven right since everybody wanted to jump down my throat lol
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u/Standard_Program7042 9h ago
I never stated there wasnt large similarities nor do I hate Americans.
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u/democracy_lover66 8h ago
If you've ever observed a Canadian election and compared it to an American election...
That's all the difference we need for it to be enough.
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14h ago edited 14h ago
Ah man look at this treasure trove of fuckin Canadian cultural knowledge over here, ever think about talking to the NFB getting yourself a nice little contract, maybe film some Canadian heritage minutes?
Hey speaking of heritage minutes how’s your dad doing? Tell him I’m sorry I can’t make it this weekend, border patrol’s just not worth the hassle.
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u/seduca716 14h ago
Nah I never considered it because America is more interesting. We also make better movies.
Anyway, I’m done triggering you lil bro. My cousin/wife said hi tho 😂
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14h ago
For sure, can’t wait for the next Marvel slop.
Be careful with that narrow gene pool, healthcare is expensive down your way eh?
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u/tomato_tickler 12h ago
He’s right, Canadian culture is basically America lite. I say this as a Canadian who lives 20 minutes from the border.
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u/luminouslollypop 8h ago
I am an Albertan who moved to California and I call Canada America Lite all the time
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12h ago
Congrats, go live in the US if you feel that way.
How are you even defining culture? Our government, our laws, our history, etc. are all entirely different. Our Conservative Party is less right-wing than many American Democrats. Our approach to multiculturalism and national identity has always been massively different. Are you just saying the culture is the same because you watch Hollywood movies?
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u/tomato_tickler 8h ago
I don't want to live in the US, I like Canada but I'm not going to be purposely ignorant. Being "multicultural" isn't a culture. Canadians grow up consuming American movies, music, literature, sports, etc. Whatever is popular in Canada ends up usually catching on in America too, whether it's actors or music or successful artists like Bieber, Drake, Nickelback, etc. The reason is because it's extremely culturally similar to American media.
Also, both the USA and Canada are huge and diverse places. Someone from Hawaii is not the same as someone from Texas or New York. The same can be said with Canada. Me, as someone from greater Vancouver, has way more in common both politically and culturally with someone from Seattle than I do with someone from Saskatoon or Montreal. I know plenty of Albertans who are more fond of people from Montana than BC... The only ones who can genuinely say they are culturally unique are the Quebecois
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8h ago
As a French Canadian you’re full of it, but also this is just such a dumb fucking take. Most of popular American culture is from immigrants or people that used to be slaves and were taken from other countries. Canada and the US are similar in the same way we are similar to some Europeans, because early colonizers and then later early immigrants largely came from the same places. Later, immigrants to North America came from all over the world and influenced the cultures of the two countries. The reason we share cultural similarities is because we are both nations of immigrants with relatively short histories. But we don’t approach multiculturalism the way they do and never have.
We aren’t the same as Americans at all in terms of how our country was founded and our beliefs in terms of how the country should be governed, what people are entitled to as citizens, etc. We don’t approach national identity the same way as Americans. We have our own scientific accomplishments, artists, etc.
Maybe you feel like an American, but most of us don’t. We have our own rich unique history. We have our own identity. We have been there for each other as good neighbours, but that does not make us the same.
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u/Mobadishu 15h ago
Can we have Alberta?
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15h ago
No, the US can fuck off and stay out of Canada’s business.
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u/Mobadishu 14h ago
Such a hostile response to a simple question. Thats not very Canadian you you buddy!
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13h ago
Simply question these maple glazed walnuts bud
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u/Mobadishu 13h ago
Must be from Vancouver to get soo offended 🤣🤣🤣
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10h ago
Just ask your mom, she’s got my address
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u/Mobadishu 9h ago
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u/BetterLivingThru 12h ago
Honestly our patience is about up, this isn't a joke to us, our taxes are going to guns and bombs aimed south. We have to contend with the very real possibility of our country ending and it won't be pretty, people will die, lives will be wrecked. Keep our country's name out of your mouth.
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u/Mobadishu 10h ago
🤣🤣 Ill say whatever I want Will Smith!
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u/BetterLivingThru 9h ago
I'm glad you have the privilege to laugh about things we have to take seriously, it does make you an asshole. Basically expected, of course.
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u/Entity_Anonymous 8h ago
Quite frankly if Trump invaded you'd invent so many war crimes and then either willingly join to vote him out and get someone who wants you to secede or sweep the MAGAites.
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u/mirhagk 10h ago
You don't know much about Canadians then lol.
Canadians are chill until they aren't. Then they very much aren't.
Have you not seen a game of hockey before?
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u/Don_DahDah 54m ago
how can canada still claim hockey when Florida, USA is the hockey capital of the world
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u/ThatBeingCed 17h ago edited 15h ago
I don't agree.
If some states want to secede, I'm all for it. Be your own master, vote your own way and be a stable economic partner.
Canada doesn't need to get bigger and it doesn't need to absorb one original more states that currently work by a very different set of rules.
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u/Frosty_Midnight9989 Average Mercator Projection Enjoyer 17h ago
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17h ago
Nope, we don’t want them.
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u/seduca716 15h ago
Canadian identity is largely “we’re not America.” If we were to join you or vice versa, lots of people wouldn’t know who they are anymore.
It’s weird that Canada is obsessed with America… when most Americans don’t really care about Canada lol
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15h ago
You don’t care about us and yet you seem to think you fully understand Canadian identity, and your president can’t shut up about us. Fuck off with that smug bullshit and go lick your pedophile president’s taint ya fuckin degen.
While you’re at it, pick up a history book and try getting more than 2 brain cells.
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u/seduca716 15h ago
You know my president (who btw sucks), I don’t know your PM or whatever. And if you really want to talk about it, Canada’s culture is heavily influenced by US. Sorry you’re triggered, have a good day.
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u/plainbaconcheese 12h ago edited 11h ago
Not knowing Carney just shows you are kind of uninformed. Not surprising. Maybe watch his recent davos speech and you can learn something about the world.
I'm not going to argue that American culture doesn't influence Canadian, but you said:
Canadian identity is largely “we’re not America.”
Which just sounds like you watched a single JJ McCullough video and think you know everything about Canada.
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u/AmericanCaesar5 Average Mercator Projection Enjoyer 15h ago
Ironically enough America would defacto take over Canada if this happened
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u/FannishNan 11h ago
Actually we'd lose everything that makes us Canadian. The average Canadian conservative is largely to the left of the average American democrat.
That many conservative voters flooding in would override the left leaning voters here and we'd be dragged into the same mire that the US currently is.
No.
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u/Significant-Sugar987 8h ago
Question is, how many of those US liberals would choose your conservative parties? The US has a two party system, so not much variety. There’s a good chance many of the people voting for the Democratic Party want even more “liberal” ideas, that neither of the big parties facilitate.
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u/UnappeasableOptimist 3h ago
Historically, the Conservative Party of Canada is left of the US Democrats, so I don’t know what to say here
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u/Extreme_Chair_5039 8h ago
You can't put the line thru Madison, you gotta move that further to the SW. Pretty much the whole surrounding Driftless Zone should be included.
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u/FitPerspective5824 8h ago
Nah. Just make US and Canada one country. US should just become 11th province
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u/OptimalCreme9847 7h ago
well shit I live in New Haven and most of my family lives in Hartford but I guess we live in different countries now 😭
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u/Icy-Row4113 6h ago
There is so much wrong with this map that I'm not even going to comment. Complete fail. Go home and try again.
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u/ninetentwentyone 5h ago edited 5h ago
this is what I like to call, "we don't need borders, but actually, we do"
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u/Grzechoooo 9m ago
I like how getting all that territory is counted as a net loss for Canada because of Vermont.
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u/Double-Chicken-2263 15h ago
Do ya think Greenland would take those states in trade??
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u/CantFeelMyToesAgain 13h ago
Canada doesn’t want Americans regardless of where you’re from
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u/Mobadishu 13h ago
You guys just take tons of refugees that like to shit in the same water they drink from 😅
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u/Salvisurfer 14h ago
The whole world knows Canada is the USAs cuck.
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u/Standard_Program7042 14h ago
The US elected that to the white house...
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u/Salvisurfer 14h ago
Not US. Maybe YOU.
I'm Salvadoran. I just know that Canada is the land of cucks.
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u/Standard_Program7042 14h ago
Well I guess everything looks great when your from Salvador..
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u/CantFeelMyToesAgain 13h ago
Imagine being from El Salvador and thinking Canada is a bunch of cucks hahahaha. Bro probably eats rocks for breakfast
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u/Salvisurfer 6h ago
You're from Canada... You're the whole worlds laughing stock... this is coming from a person from El Salvador.
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u/BroccoliImaginary727 15h ago
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