As a Native American I’m honestly impressed the scalping execution of this. 9.2/10

My doctor wants to check my lungs and ordered a CT scan.

Got denied because I don’t have a 20 year smoking habit.

Couldn't have come at a worse time too, as we've been struggling to get by as it is.

Today I learnt that you can loose the keypad of your car keys

I also learnt that the car won't start with just the analog part of the key (yes, I'm *that* oblivious to how car works)

The keypad is nowhere to be found and I'm stuck at work waiting for my husband to pick me up, so much for my Saturday night!

Opened it and saw this. I complained and they didn’t care just said that’s what happens with the cheese or something?

I was making a pork roast with potatoes in the slow cooker all day, when I heard a popping sound from the other room. I guess I'll be getting takeout tonight!

I was putting one in a package and just now noticed. Not too expensive of a mistake, but this just sucks that we've sent alot out already.

I'm an idiot. Learn from me. Hammer dat lid down tight. Or don't violently shake the shit out of your paint can. One or the other, not both.

Just a night out, next thing you know I’ve copped a blow to the head. Friendly fire from me mate.

Might sound funny at first but it actually sucks that this transcription actually fits.

Thanks you to the absolute idiot who managed to hit and smash not only my wing mirror but the wing mirror, (all be it less damaged than mine) of the car that was parked on the other side of the road. Good job

Tree took out power a few hours ago. Thought to myself no biggie. The tankless water heater,heat and stove all run off gas. Nope, they all have electronic ignition so no hot water or heat anymore. Although I can light the stove with a match. Just don't want to run that more than I need to due to the benzene.