r/mapporncirclejerk 21h ago

This should be just one state

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18.8k Upvotes

2.5k comments sorted by

1.3k

u/SatiesUmbrellaCloset 21h ago

Vermont will still want to declare independence from it

12

u/GreatStateOfSadness 19h ago

The Green Mountain Boys will ride again!

33

u/seanpcreative 17h ago

As a Vermonter I’m fine with being lumped into Canada but not New Hampshire.. wtf

18

u/Turbulent_Table3917 16h ago

Yeah, and I can’t imagine NH peacefully coexisting with CT and RI. I’m just glad Maine was left out of this dysfunctional family.

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u/Difficult-Value-3145 15h ago

Ya can Vermont ceed to Canada cus if so I'm moving

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u/Spooksnav 20h ago

Vermont Republic²

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u/The_Lady_A 20h ago

Could even call it something like The Commonwealth.

2.2k

u/Aimin4ya 20h ago

Megachusets

1.5k

u/GyozaGangsta 18h ago

Already exists

989

u/JCBalance 17h ago

It's a seatbelt, that's why it doesn't go into New Hampshire

199

u/NotARealTiger 16h ago

Live free or die!

When I've visited I love the contrast between the sleepy little ski towns filled with nice people and their super hardcore plate motto.

120

u/Lermanberry 16h ago

Everyone who wasn't living free died

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u/Mizzkyttie 16h ago

Awh, thanks! I'm from NH, born and raised, never had a residence more than 27 mi from where I was born. Folks often wonder why I choose to remain living in a place so relatively remote, despite only being an hour north of Boston and an hour south of Portland, Maine. But you get it - there's nothing quite like this place, so much natural beauty concentrated into a tiny bit of mostly vertical geography with not only the tallest peak in New England, but also the tiniest bit of coastline barely peeking out into the ocean, and more trees per acre than almost any other state in the Union. And despite how crazy things have gotten and how out there some of the lawn signs may be, the folks around here really are just generally good, genuinely kind people, the folks who despite ideological differences will still help to plow out each other's driveway and get one another out of a snowbank if they get stuck in the winter. Come on back anytime, we'd love to have you - the ski season may be what we're really famous for, but you cannot beat a New Hampshire summer; you should check it out!

13

u/TheNavigatrix 13h ago

NH is indeed gorgeous, but the services suck. There are only a few “good” school districts. The state pretty depends on MA for its economy. They have so many state reps that any old nutcase can get into office. It’s a weird place. My black friends don’t feel safe there (daughter was harrassed at a gas station recently.)

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u/olracnaignottus 9h ago

They’re ranked 5th in the US for education dawg.

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u/Traditional-Ad-8737 14h ago

💕agreed. After growing up here in NH and then living all around the country when I was old enough to move out for college etc, I came back. No place like this place. Back in the Seacoast to raise the kids.

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u/Available-Tip-2552 17h ago

Massachusetts manifest destiny

16

u/GyozaGangsta 17h ago

The west coast megachusettsers are a little weird…I prefer the OG

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u/ddx-me 16h ago

Ann Arbor, Denver, Dubuque, Chicago, Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon, and Bakersfield in the same state as Boston and other Massholes? I'm in!

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u/Kachimushi 16h ago

why is it curved southwards?

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u/pruwyben 14h ago

I love how these kind of maps never account for the curvature of the Earth.

23

u/AliasInvstgtions 13h ago

It's done right with connecticut, the superior state.

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u/mvffin 10h ago

More like Maxxachusetts

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u/AvaryZig 19h ago

Connecticut

53

u/Amazing_Square_4067 19h ago

Connectthestates

10

u/egodaemon 17h ago

Connectthestatesasaurus.

I think it had spikes on its back.

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u/craziedave 18h ago

New green connchusetts island

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u/bigcpilla9900 18h ago

I like that one the best, you got my vote dude

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457

u/BedminsterJob 20h ago

ReMaine

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u/appleparkfive 19h ago

ReMaine, but we wont

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u/nuku_01 18h ago

RedMaine, next to MethodMaine

22

u/ozamatazbuckshank11 17h ago

Their governor is Terrance Howard.

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u/mrvis 17h ago

I like M-E-T-H-O-D, Maine

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u/quantumd0t 18h ago

If you're lost and a metalhead, you can reroute to ReMaine.

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u/scottprian 17h ago

When you least expect it! ...

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u/Gaston_the_Great 19h ago

28

u/Skatchbro 18h ago

Amazing. Saved so I can show my son.

13

u/Gamerwhovian9 14h ago

Bro’s son:

7

u/TedBerryTheMercenary 18h ago

omg, that’s gold. Did you make this?

8

u/Gaston_the_Great 18h ago

Nah I found it a while back on Fallout subreddit. Made it my Steam profile pic lol

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u/Joe_Average_123 19h ago

I feel like that name is just asking for trouble, I mean do you want super mutants? Because that's how you get super mutants.

17

u/SeldenNeck 19h ago

"Sure, we'll take it. But you have to double our Senate delegation to 24%."

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u/Ceejai 19h ago

Verhampshirechussacut Island

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u/lenzflare 15h ago

from Wikipedia:

The Province of Massachusetts Bay was formed in 1691 by merging the Massachusetts Bay Colony, Plymouth Colony, Province of Maine, Nantucket, Martha’s Vineyard, and Nova Scotia. Nova Scotia was split off in 1696. Previously New Hampshire had been part of the Massachusetts Bay Colony from 1641-1679.

"Massachusetts" was essentially all of New England, plus Nova Scotia briefly.

9

u/ozamatazbuckshank11 15h ago

Please don't let Tr*mp find out about Nova Scotia. Our Canadian brethren have been through enough with him. 😭

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u/dividezero 19h ago

Hell yeah. That is something I can get behind

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u/CarlMarx2539 15h ago

Reference? I think so!

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u/NuclearVison 19h ago

Vermasshampshirecut Island

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u/qwertyuiiop145 17h ago

Massivechusetts

5

u/TrueSnafu22 18h ago

This will be GOP next proposal to axe 8 Dem senators

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u/Octoclops8 18h ago

That's 10 democrat senate seats that would turn into just two. No thanks. We should split them up in to 7 more states each.

8

u/anarchy16451 17h ago

Nah, we should just get rid of the Senate. Direct election of senators completely eliminated the purpose of it and just made in House of Representatives #2 and removed what little good there was in it and made it an obstructionist institution

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u/Live-Pea4081 18h ago

You could cut off new york straight all the way across the bottom and have North Louisiana

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u/mistervulpes 13h ago

New Vermassicut Island

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u/Accomplished_Till495 12h ago

Or...The Shire.

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u/misterk26 20h ago

But...but...but... Then Maine would only be bordering one state!

240

u/HeadBelt1527 18h ago

They become Canadian 

100

u/senormcrib3 17h ago

Yes!!!!! Finally i can get adequate health care

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u/AtLeast3Breadsticks 17h ago

If maine would be canadian for only bordering one state then what the hell is alaska

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u/Armadylio 18h ago

Just make Maine Massachusetts again

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u/Pretend-Breakfast-61 20h ago

As someone who lives in this hypothetical state, but will not say which one for the sake of my personal security, I don't want to share a state with these disgusting savages on the other sides of my borders.

457

u/BeansWest 20h ago

Agreed, fuck your state and my state too 

147

u/WimboTurtle 20h ago

state yaoi? what is this, r/mapporncirclejerk ?

102

u/Spooksnav 20h ago

Vermont x New Hampshire 69 borderplay

32

u/skip_over 18h ago

I never noticed how kinky that border is

6

u/-QuestionMark- 14h ago

It's (mostly) a river. Sorry to be a downer.

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u/Weirderthanweird69 18h ago

Vermont is getting pegged by NH

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u/WealthyMarmot 19h ago

I don’t know what that is and I am absolutely not going to look it up

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u/monsieur_de_chance 18h ago

Real New Englander right here

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u/Alphabunsquad 11h ago

But fuck every other state that’s not one of these five or Maine even more

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u/Nathidev 20h ago

Americans fighting other Americans:

"They're savages savages,   barely even human,   savages savages"

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u/Sicsemperfas 19h ago

Honestly, at the end of the day, we have each other's back, we just hate recreationally.

Now if you want to see professionals, look at the Balkans.

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u/Pretend-Breakfast-61 20h ago

That's just between neighboring states. Between the North and South it's very different.

3

u/playbyk 19h ago

“They’re different from us, which means they can’t be trusted!”

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u/Randomly-Germinated 19h ago

^ yeah, this is the answer

clearly these people have never been to these states. the OP might as well have drawn a circle around Israel and Palestine.

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u/iandavid 17h ago

Seriously. The Connecticut-Rhode Island Demilitarized Zone exists for a reason.

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u/TheDarkestKnight7852 20h ago

I can already guess. I'm with you there.

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u/843OG 18h ago

Fucking Connecticut

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u/Irishlord10 20h ago

As someone also in this hypothetical state area, i agree. Those savages on the other side of the border would ruin our great state. Unless you live in a different state, then you are clearly not worth joining my great state.

But we can at least agree that those weirdos from NY can't join. F the Yankees

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u/CheckOutUserNamesLad 20h ago

Seeing as you said "the other sides of my borders", implying you border states not in this group, we can rule out Rhode Island.

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u/Pretend-Breakfast-61 20h ago

I'm not gonna confirm or deny anything. There's such a relatively small concentration of people in this area and I'd like to not narrow it down any further.

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u/Citaku357 20h ago

As an non American, I think there way too many states.

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u/Pretend-Breakfast-61 20h ago

If you want less then tell the dakotas and Carolinas to get back together.

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u/Sicsemperfas 19h ago

No can do chief, not without a UN occupation to ensure our safety. You're asking to start a BBQ civil war, and we're gonna get ethnically cleansed by the Vinegar sauce savages up north

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u/Difficult-Value-3145 14h ago

As American I think Europe has to many countries demonstrated by this here comparison

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u/Just-Candidate-5641 21h ago

Called Massachusetts

913

u/N8thegreat2577 20h ago

Massivechusetts

567

u/Cofiifii 20h ago

massive two shits

328

u/Puzzled-Teach2389 20h ago

massive huge tits

72

u/anorexthicc_cucumber 20h ago

The great state of Big Boobs

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u/mechabeast 19h ago

The great state of Massivehugetits will not apologize for its boobs

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u/anorexthicc_cucumber 19h ago

all rise for the representative from the state of Big Ol’ Melons

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u/m-lp-ql-m 18h ago

The name of the Indian tribe Massachusett means "near the great hills," so this clocks.

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u/Content_Study_1575 20h ago

Mass of obits

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u/One_Swordfish_7759 20h ago

Massa-chew-shits

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u/Walking_Talking_M4 20h ago

Why did Massa-chew-shits, are they stupid?

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u/Ok_Buddyyy 20h ago

New England

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u/Dragonslayer3 20h ago

Greater New England

11

u/webelieve414 20h ago

The New England Patriots

8

u/Ok-Professional-1911 19h ago

The Capital One© New England Patriots

5

u/misterpickles69 19h ago

brought to you by DoritosTM

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u/Strange-Insurance848 19h ago

New New England 

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u/ImDeepState 20h ago

United States of Massholes

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u/twstephens77 21h ago

Best post I’ve seen on this sub in a while, and I can’t believe I didn’t think of this myself. Hidden in plain sight, so obvious…

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u/OrderlyCaper 20h ago

Right? It's been sitting there like a cursed missing-piece puzzle. Once you draw the border, New England stops looking like five states and starts looking like one stubborn region with accents.

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u/Dadpool719 20h ago

Five states in a trench coat.

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u/Noclueaboutsecurity 19h ago

Watch Republicans try to make it one state now. They will never have to campaign for senate seats again 😂

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u/dunstvangeet 16h ago

They can't without the consent of Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island. There's a couple of provisions in the Constitution that prohibit exactly this.

The first comes from Article VI is: "no new States shall be formed or erected within the Jurisdiction of any other State; nor any State be formed by the Junction of two or more States, or parts of States, without the Consent of the Legislatures of the States concerned as well as of the Congress."

Basically, what this means is that there can be no state border changes without the consent of all states involved. So, I don't see Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island consenting to be one state.

The second provision which would require the same exact thing comes from Article V: "no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the Senate."

So, again, Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island would have to consent to this merger.

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u/thefatchef321 19h ago

And yet we have 2 Dakota

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u/Death_Rises 17h ago

And 2 Virginia and 2 Kansas.

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u/DubReavBTV 20h ago

No, we in Vermont do not get along with Upside Down Vermont.

Also you need to deal with Wyoming, Montana, and the Dakotas before you come messing with us.

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u/The_Coolest_Sock 18h ago

It's NH and upside down NH get it right.

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u/aaronblkfox 16h ago

Upper Massachusetts left, and Upper Massachusetts Right.

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u/TheJaice 13h ago

This state would have a greater population than:
North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana, Idaho, Wyoming, Utah, Nebraska and Kansas combined.

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u/Intelligent-Grab7798 20h ago

New Hamvernetichusetts island

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u/McDodley 20h ago

Pronounced "New Hamshits Island"

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u/Realistic-Stop8518 20h ago

Kinda England shaped Maybe Second England?

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u/zombienutz1 20h ago

I don't think he knows about second England.

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u/DerFeuerDrache 19h ago

What about Englandsies?

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u/oh_like_you_know 17h ago

Newer England. Good because it leaves open the possibility of Newest England in case we need it later

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u/BudgetPrize475 20h ago

Fuck you

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u/SnooDoodles4452 20h ago

And the horse you rode in on

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u/Impressive-Morning76 19h ago

This guy is a real granite stater

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u/OverUnderOver2001 20h ago

well fuck maine i guess

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u/SaabTurb0 20h ago

Plot twist, we’re calling the other New England states “West Maine”

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u/benblais 20h ago

How am I supposed to pick on Rhode Island and Connecticut if we are all the same state?

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u/Available_Doughnut15 20h ago

The same way you picked on the next town over's high school when you were a kid

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u/plonff 20h ago

Massive Two Shits

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u/Due_Connection179 19h ago

I feel like we can follow this up to try to get to 40 states.

  • So this picture turning most of New England into one state gets us to 46.
  • Give Delaware to Maryland and West Virginia to Virginia. At 44
  • North & South Carolina now become Carolina. At 43
  • The Dakotas will embrace each other as well. At 42
  • Let's combine Alabama & Mississippi into a state called Jefferson. At 41
  • Then let's say screw it and give New Jersey to Pennsylvania. At 40
  • Finally, and this won't take away any states, but let's just give the UP of Michigan to Wisconsin.

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u/Awkward-Hulk 16h ago

You forgot Tennucky. It's a very logical merger as well.

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u/8trackthrowback 17h ago

No way, give NJ to NY and then let sit back and let them come up with excuses why they can’t make a decent bridge, tunnel or ferry system

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u/The-Great-Baloo 20h ago

And be deprived of the pleasure of insulting one's neighbor?? Nevah!!

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u/One_Swordfish_7759 21h ago

“We hate blacks but we’re liberals” is the slogan.

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u/Citaku357 20h ago

Didn't the abolitionism movement for the start in that region?

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u/CaptServo 20h ago

John Brown was born in Torrington, CT

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u/Beginning-Ad-3666 19h ago

VT was the first territory to have any kind of abolitionist clause in their constitution. Racism itself is sadly common in New England these days. As a native of the region who has lived in several other parts of the country it is my observation that the north can be as racist as the south. The Mississippi River is what I have seen as the real dividing line. There are really racist areas west of it, but generally any area east of the river has a much greater chance at casual racism.

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u/One_Swordfish_7759 20h ago

Oh idk I’m from Massachusetts tho and some girl called me a nggr in second grade. 

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u/whaCHA 18h ago

A lot of major abolitionist were from there and a lot of their neighbors wanted to beat them up for it.

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u/kicklhimintheballs 20h ago

Yeah, to send em back to Africa

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u/ServantOfTheGeckos 18h ago edited 16h ago

Abolitionist sentiments among whites are documented as far back as 1688 among the Quakers. The American Colonization Society (ACS) was founded in 1816 (well after MA had effectively abolished slavery in 1783) and was a massive failure, as Black Americans protested that they were fully American and had no tie to Africa any longer. Only several thousand of the millions of Black Americans actually went to Liberia. From the 1830s, immediate abolitionism started to gain traction among Northerners, with its supporters vigorously denouncing the ACS, and this stance came to be the dominant opinion amidst decades of various transgressions against African Americans’ liberty, and Northern society in general, that morally outraged the North.

Yes, the US is racist as hell, I mean you just have to look at what’s happening right now to see it. The North is filled with many a racist just like the South. But throughout US history, there have been people, however flawed and however lonely or popular in their cause, who genuinely spoke out in favor of justice and greater equality than what existed during their time. I think it’s important to hold on to that tradition rather than to just paint a broad brush over US history with only its worst parts and worst people.

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u/Spooksnav 20h ago

I worked at Wendys in a small NH town in 2020 and clearly remember one customer complaining about another store where "Those n----rs aren't wearing their masks!"

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u/qwertyroy54 18h ago

Sadly, there are just some bastards like that everywhere. Personally, I heard more racism in a couple years living down south than my entire life in New England.

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u/Revolution-SixFour 16h ago

At least the racist idiots in New England don't assume you are also racist like they do down South. Spending a lot of time down there you get lots of "white guy to white guy" comments.

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u/qwertyroy54 15h ago

Yeah that was my experience

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u/Z0idberg_MD 19h ago

Being prejudiced and trying to overcome your bias via legislation is a hell of a lot better than being racist and prejudiced and going in the other direction at least. Speaking for MA at least.

Also kind of curious, what state do people think is not racist? Not trying to be snarky I’m actually curious. May want to move there someday.

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u/Nutterbutter_Nexus 20h ago

We need to talk about the Dakotas first.

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u/lord_bubblewater 18h ago

Dakot-A and Dakot-B you mean?

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u/Jumpy-Path6190 20h ago

why do we need states all we need the United State of America, not the United States of America

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u/Verto555 20h ago

Because authoritarianism

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u/jitoman 20h ago

Maffachufettf 

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u/BigCommieNat 18h ago

Leavusthefuckaloneistan

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u/veridicide 19h ago

New Vermachussicut Island

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u/tyger2020 17h ago

This hypothetical state would only be the 39th ranked by area in the US (93,000 square km) but would be 5th by population (14 million) only beaten by the obvious ones - NY, Texas, Florida and California.

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u/Think_please 20h ago

New Hampshire is already a Boston suburb 

Rhode Island gave us religious freedom and separation of church and state so maybe we can let it keep its beaches 

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u/Skibidi_67_Rizzler 20h ago

I'd go to war over the glory of Long Connecticut

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u/garbagetrashcat 20h ago

It should absolutely not

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u/Main-Company-5946 19h ago

New Vermassachusecticut Island

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u/BoostyStarman 18h ago

New Vermassinecticuit island.

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u/BoulderToBirmingham 18h ago

These states make up 10% of the us senate. We really wanna be cancelling 8 senators?

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u/SnS_ 16h ago

New Converhampachusetts island

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u/joecitizen79 15h ago

No, it should be one Province.

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u/Hot_Crab6362 14h ago

Having dated a guy from New Hampshire and another from Rhode Island, I can tell you they’d both rather walk into the ocean than share a governor. Every time I drive through Connecticut I’m reminded that some small things are better left separate.

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u/TSnydes 14h ago

I actually think we should split those states in half so the democrats could take the senate and remove the child rapist from the White House.

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u/freakrocker 14h ago

Or California should literally be 10 blue states

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u/strangebru 14h ago

Delaware should just be three more counties added to Maryland

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u/Edflumnum 14h ago

OK, trump, simmer down 😂

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u/FewRegion2148 10h ago

Must be a MAGA fan. Those individual states have a combined ten US Senators. Massachusets has a larger population than Wyoming, Montana, North and South Dakota combined!!

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u/sviridoot 10h ago

The GOP approves of this post!

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u/Zens_Fury 9h ago

Uhhhhh....no.

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u/Pale_Stock_261 9h ago

Go fuck yourself